Love is…
I forgot I drafted this way back in February and then I got too busy and extremely lazy.
I’ve gotten a lot responses on FB about my previous post. I think my total lack of a relationship is interesting for some folk. Yeah, I admit, it’s a bit odd for a guy my age to have not been in a relationship. How long has it been??? Well after Bianca (sort of GF I guess) I have made attempts, you know, jumped a cliff, fell face first on solid concrete and lived to re-live all those bitter moments. It’s not really fun being at the end of a turn-down. Maybe I’m just too sheltered.
But the truth of the matter is that I’ve become exhausted of pulling away from a person’s gravity. It’s hard; one minute they’re the center of your universe and then it blows up then you’re clinging for dear life trying to get away from that major suck void.
Some guys live for the thrill of the chase and grow stronger every time they get shot down. But not me. I say life’s too short to settle for the next best thing. I wanted the best, but the best wanted someone better…or taller…leaner…lego-faced…or less of a friend. No, it’s not that my heart has grown callous or I’m traumatised, I’m perfectly sane, depends on your definition of it. I’ve just come to realize that I’ll find her when I’m meant to find her. At the moment, I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to than worrying about what to do on our first week anniversary (eew).
Maybe I just look at relationships on a different perspective. Filipinos have an iron-clad tradition of courtship, which I’m not very fond of. Here’s what I would like:
1. Casual Date – nothing too serious, just something fun.
2. Casual Talk – not too intrusive but engaging.
3. Casual Feelings – not too deep but meaningful.
Yeah, I sound just like Goldilocks, lazy and has zero commitment. What I really like is a pleasurable company, someone to enjoy the time with. And if God would want it, an intimate relationship eventually. I don’t like to pursue a relationship as if it’s a job or a physical necessity. I want to pursue a relationship becase I feel like I’m ready to share my life, bit by bit to someone, not because my time is running out. Everyone’s time is running out and in the end IT WILL run out, but it doesn’t mean we have to blaze through every experience as if it’s probably the last.
Love for me is like a lazy afternoon at a coffee shop; simple, laid back and feels like home. It doesn’t have to get serious very soon, I’d like to take my time. Besides, I’d rather enjoy a roadtrip going at an easy 80 on the highway appreciating every bit of it, than 220, clutching my innards, hoping I don’t collide onto something.
Surely you laugh at my naiveity. However I’ve been turned-down quite a number of times, I owe myself some love and not just throw myself at the next available girl I see.
Cheers,
rj
